God Answered My Grumpy Prayer

I woke up on Friday morning simply not “in the mood” for the day. I hit snooze for at least an hour – burning precious time I could have spent eating breakfast – before dragging my lazy bones off the mushy mattress and pushing my hair out of my face. I had twenty minutes to get ready for work, and mumbled a hasty, half-focused and reluctant prayer that God would use me to bless someone there in some way, whether they were a coworker or a customer. Upon (quietly) stomping down the stairs I headed to work in the pouring rain, altogether feeling as dreary as the crying clouds.

The first couple of hours were slow. Nobody wanted to venture out in the rain. But soon business picked up pace, and my coworkers and I at least had something to keep us occupied so the time passed much faster. Just before I went on break, an elderly lady (I later found out she was almost 90 years old!) came to my register. I spent the next twenty minutes or so helping her with her order, feeling God smiling at her through me. Admittedly, I was a little miffed at first that my break would be postponed, but as God moved me to step out of my tiredness and into His strength for this lady I found my annoyance dissipate to be replaced by pure joy and love in being a helping hand and friendly face. She told me stories from her college days, and I was able to share little pieces of my faith with her. When the transaction was complete, I closed my register and walked her to her car as she repeated over and over how much of a blessing our interaction had been to her. I remembered my grumpy prayer from earlier in the morning and laughed a little to myself as I thanked God for such a beautiful “interruption” to my routine.

I smile now to realize anew how much God teaches us through seemingly little things. We must keep our eyes open and focused on Him, so that when He calls us to move, even in little ways, we are able to abide in His love and respond with obedience and grace. He provides so much beauty to us and those around us, and it’s such an honor to be a part of that work through Jesus.


Blog Update

Hello, friends! Real quick, and then you can get back to whatever else the Internet was throwing at you. Over the past several months, I’ve somehow managed to accumulate a modest following of fellow bloggers, poets, Christians, and others who’ve decided that they like what I write and want to see more. It’s not much by “fame’s” standards, but it’s so cool to see how God is working through even small growth!

As a result, I’ve been praying for new ways to expand my blog to even further glorify the Lord. And after months of wafting back and forth, I’ve finally created a blog Instagram and it’s here to stay – I made one last year but deleted it after a week because I didn’t know what I was doing haha. Rather than posting “link in bio” kinds of posts, it’ll simply be a little extension of this here WordPress blog: shorter reflections, my dabbles in calligraphy/lettering, favorite verses, and whatever else I feel like sharing that isn’t enough for a full post on here.

Also, if you have content ideas you’d like to see that I haven’t tried before, please do leave a comment or use the “Contact Me” page (or now you can DM me!). I’m always on the lookout for new inspiration and would love to hear your thoughts.

Blessings to you and yours!

~ Eliana

Week Thirty-One

52 Weeks of Gratitude, Week 31: A core value

grace unmeasured

Genuine honesty and timely heartbeats
entwine together in a romantic gesture
as simple as reaching for her hand
and reminding her it’ll be okay

Racing against herself for headspace
compromises a daily and nightly routine
with tightly shut, rose gold eyelids
closing the door to finite dreams

Allowed into the room like a faraway whisper
come forgiveness and second chances
to rebuild what was so abruptly torn down
to make room for baby’s breath and wisteria

Coasters to catch the leftover tears
from a cold brew coffee consumed to chase away
residual patterns and startle awake at 3am
in the arms of a winking thunderstorm

Elaborately designed beyond human
comprehension to bring about peace
and abundant joy in steadfast revelation
that keeps her stumbling towards the cross

Week Thirty

52 Weeks of Gratitude, Week 30: Your current age

season after season

with each mountain the battle’s only just begun
to dig up the idols I’ve buried in my tiny garden
and sow new seeds of love and humility
which I lack so desperately

and as the flowers push their way towards the sun
my heart cracks in places it’s never before broken
to convince me that while growth isn’t easy
it’s unspeakably worth it to wait and see

the things that God has laid out and started
for the people whom He calls beloved
and an inheritance of goodness in all things
to which melody my heart slowly learns to sing

so I’ll cling to the Savior who died for my life
and surrender my will for God’s holy desire
for me to burn with a light and hope so genuine
that I can’t help but praise Him again and again

Week Twenty-Nine

52 Weeks of Gratitude, Week 29: Your favorite memory

I never really knew

piercing quivering glass
and deaf ears
to awaken hearts
and souls in golden prisms
of light and life

waltzing wind
with nothing in its way
puts out the fire
and opens rivulets
blue, cool, and fresh
of blessed relief

gently pushed aside
in furrows
for new blooms
and enchanted seconds
of new memories

Reflections on Psalm 65

Psalm 65 is a praise song of God’s goodness. It’s a reminder that even in the midst of affliction and suffering of all kinds, God is still good and holding all things together. He showers His blessings upon the earth, beckoning us into freedom. He never promises an easy road, but He does promise an eternal inheritance, and that ought to entirely change our outlook on life.

The second half of the song nudges to us to see God’s provision in nature and to give thanks. Three points in particular have served to encourage me through these past few weeks of unexpected schedules, frustration, and some sad nights. To begin, verse 9 reads, “You [God] visit the earth and water it; / you greatly enrich it; / the river of God is full of water; you provide their grain, / for so you have prepared it” (emphasis mine). He has already prepared all we will need for any given moment in time. In advance, He anticipates our every need and sets it aside for the right time. It hearkens back to Psalm 23 where David sings, “The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want.”

Then there’s verse 11, “You crown the year with your bounty, / your wagon tracks overflow with abundance.” Regardless of how wearisome and heavy our year has been, God is still on His throne, leading us in the path He has set before our feet. His blessings, however small they might seem in the moment of pain, infinitely surpass the sorrows in their greatness. It is enough to be known and loved by Him, to receive His grace.

Towards the very end of the psalm, David sings, “The pastures of the wilderness overflow, / the hills gird themselves with joy…” To gird one’s loins was essentially to pin or tie long, flowing garments up around the waist as a means of preparing for action. If the hills naturally ready themselves with joy, how much more ought we to prepare ourselves with joy in the face of any trial that’s to come? Oh to so surround ourselves with the conscious choice towards joy that even though the troubles hurt, they do not keep us down.

This also goes along with verse 5, where the psalmist describes the Lord as “the one who by his strength established the mountains, being girded with might.” The Lord readies Himself with awe-inspiring strength, and us with joy.

In all things He provides, and we receive, giving back to Him in the form of our praise and thanksgiving.

Week Twenty-Eight

52 Weeks of Gratitude, Week 28: Your past

to eighth grade

they’ve scattered like dandelion seeds
and you’re stuck in the skeleton seed pod
left behind with deflated dreams,
the pin of her brooch in your child’s balloon:
bright red, light-weight, poised to float away,
to break free like a firefly’s hopeful glimmer
and disappear into the mist beyond lost dreams,
to wait for you at the end of your pilgrimage